Play Scripts by Heldor Schafer

Below is a list of the author’s plays. Complete scripts of short plays and excerpts of one-act and full-length plays are being made available for reading and study purposes only. For details about performance and staged reading rights please see “RIghts/Royalties.”

Legend:  f = female; m = male. Playing times are approximate.

To read a script or script excerpt, click on the title (available where a title is in colour).

Copernicus’ Eyes — 1 f, 1 m. 15 minutes.
Monique, modelling for renowned artist Thomas Frenelle, engages him in a discussion about the independent spirit of T-shirts while the great sculptor tries to teach her about more lofty subjects such as astronomy and underwear.

I Wandered Lonely — 1 f, 1 m. 15 minutes.
Bert, a hospital patient recovering from a motorcycle accident, meets Nel, a young nurse who enjoys reading modern poetry. In spite of his earthy humour it becomes apparent that Bert feels sorry for himself. To help him overcome his bitterness Nel introduces him to the free verse of E. E. Cummings… with mixed results.
This is a short two-character adaptation from the author’s one-act play Dropping Ballast, see below. A 10-minute monologue version, titled White, is also available.

I Wandered Lonely appeared in print in the anthology Instant Applause II: 30 Short Canadian Plays (Blizzard Publishing, Winnipeg, 1996).

A Leak in the Plumbing – 4-5 f, 1-2 m. 20 minutes.
When the elevator at Beecham Apartments gets stuck between floors — loaded with four elderly residents, a healthcare worker, a flower deliverer and a trades person, one of the occupants has an “accident.” The imprisoned handle the subject of bladder incontinence with varying degrees of (in)competence and compassion. This play has been performed in a forum theatre (Theatre of the Oppressed) setting

Old Lovers – 1 f, 1 m. 10 minutes.
Clarissa and Ben are attracted to each other. Problem is that she is years, well, decades his senior, although only Clarissa seems to think the generation gap is an insurmountable obstacle.

Jocks – 1 f, 1 m. 10 minutes.
Wyn and Laura, comfortably ensconced in their respective domestic (in)activities — watching TV and reading the newspaper — find they are on different wavelengths when actually trying to communicate with each other.

Shedows on the Beach – 1 f, 1 m. 10 minutes. Drama.
A man tells his companion why he suspects his wife of infidelity with someone she regularly meets at dusk on the beach below. But who is his companion?

Cassie – 2 f, 2 m. 45 minutes.
Cassie, a high school student, becomes infatuated with her history teacher. Her confiscated diary is taken as proof of their affair, apparently resulting in his resignation. But  soon the surreal undertones in this story beg the question: what is real and how much belongs to Cassie’s imagination?

Dropping Ballast – 2 f, 1 m. 60 minutes.
Three characters of three different generations have a
chance meeting in a shopping centre at lunchtime. In
one way or another each has been abandoned by a loved one, yet in a quirky fashion all are able to help each other — not entirely overcoming the feeling of loss, but at least beginning the healing process.

You Can’t See Africa From Sicily – 2 f, 2 m. 45 minutes.
Upon his estranged wife’s return, a writer dreams of the couple’s Mediterranean honeymoon. But soon all-too-real ghosts appear, engage him in a physical and verbal duel, forcing him to acknowledge missed opportunities, wasted time and neglect of his wife.

These plays are also suitable for performance with puppets or as outright puppet shows.

Pipsqueak and the Pumpkin-eating Monster
1 f, 3 m (flexible). 25 minutes.
Cracatorius, the mean magician, has devised a clever plan to get rid of all the children. As his giant furry pet monster, Gobble, loves eating pumpkins he’ll simply turn kids into pumpkins! The first child to fall victim to his wicked scheme is Pipsqueak. But Master Cracatorius hasn’t counted on the wit of her best friend, Moppy. With the help of the children in the audience, Moppy devises a plan to thwart the magician, save Pipsqueak and keep Gobble happy at the same time.

Warm Fuzzies and Cold Pricklies – 7-16 f/m. 40 minutes.
Once upon a time, people across the world had forgotten about the custom of chasing rainbows — all except one person who knew exactly where the rainbow was hiding. His name was Willie, a greedy little fellow. Didn’t have eyes for the beautiful things in life, or so it seemed. Some say it was all the fault of the Cold Pricklies. Most of the time you can’t even see these little creatures, but if they touch you it makes you feel cold and creepy all over — and mean — but only if you let them. After all, you can always call the Warm Fuzzies for help.

From the poster of a 2003 production in Dubai, United Arab Emirates. The play was directed by Navin Talreja and starred Rosaleen Smyth, Steve Farac-Cipran and Samar Al Medfa.

— Photo by Tejal Patni

The Cuckoo Song — 3 f, 4 m (2 m if doubling). 90 minutes.
It is 1948 and World War II has been over for three years. But for Kaia, an eastern European refugee living in Germany, who is waiting for her long overdue sailor husband’s return home, the conflict does not let up. As she is pursued by
memories from the country of her youth, tragedy strikes her family once again. Will she mentally and physically
succumb to this latest blow? Whom can she turn to when everyone seems to have abandoned her?

Penance — 3 f, 4 m. 90 minutes.
On their European vacation, a middle-aged American couple is delayed in a small town on the River Rhine where they meet a young German-Canadian returning to his childhood home. Cultural and political differences soon
become the catalyst toward helping each face their unresolved past.

Rewind — 1 f, 2 m. 80 minutes.
Tahti is giving birth to a son. As she speculates on the mysteries of life with her friend Croe, a dramatic change occurs: while her son grows up under the shadow of an increasingly sinister and powerful Croe, Tahti becomes younger with each passing year!

The Mountain Race (from a short story by Jean Speare)
1 f, 1 m. 25 minutes.
First Nations tribes from far and wide are converging on the Williams Lake Stampede in British Columbia’s central
interior. All the men and young women have gone into town to celebrate. Only the very old and the very young stay behind in an encampment at the outskirts of town. As the fires burn low, and young Josh tells his grandmother his dreams of one day becoming a competitor, old Noki relates the story of a fateful horse race that a few years ago claimed Josh’s father’s life.

The Princess Swan (from a short story by Jean Speare)
2 m, 5+ dancers. 25 minutes.
A farmer’s son makes friends with a First Nations boy and learns first hand about the ancient legend of a chief’s daughter who became a swan, returning every year to a nearby lake on the Chilcotin plateau of central British Columbia.

Othello 5 — 2 f, 3 m (flexible). 80 minutes.
Audiences of this condensed version of Shakespeare’s play will notice some unconventional touches. To start with, only five actors are required to play six original characters and an invented Greek chorus (without doubling, this play could accommodate more actors). So, while the words are all
Shakespeare’s, they have often been reassigned to the chorus to advance the plot to its inevitable tragic end in about half the time it takes to perform the Bard’s original play. This version was first performed at the 1999 Victoria Shakespeare Festival with two male and three female actors (Cassio as an Amazon warrior)!

Notes on Othello the Moor of Venice and Othello 5.